Nothing to See Here

I swear to God the next creepy old man that tries to grab my ass is getting coffee poured in his shriveled, polyester covered lap. Isn't there a statute of limitations or something on when you have to stop being a gross pervert? No one that was around to see the Titanic sink should be talking about ... buttering my buns. Gross.

I need to go take a shower. Now. And someone remind me to buy more soap tomorrow.

Well, finding a job was surprisingly less complicated than I thought it would be. Always knew those guidance counselors were lying to me. Then again I guess "waitress" isn't exactly "astronaut" or "corporate CEO" or "Wallstreet stock ... trading ... person."

Whatever.

Point is I have a job. Which means I'm making money. Money I can use to buy stuff. Like clothes and shoes and, hey! Maybe I'll even splurge and get myself some groceries. Look at me being all self-reliant. Guess those guidance counselors were wrong about that too! Score two points for me!


( [Private // Difficult to Hack] )

Well this is just great. You know, when I said that I wanted to “get away from it all”? Yeah, I didn’t mean to another dimension! That is what this place is, right? At least that’s what they keep telling me, and why not? That makes just as much sense as everything else in my life.

And what is up with this place? I mean seriously, Jump City? What kind of a name is that? I mean sure, at least it doesn’t sound like some third-rate retirement home but come on, who thought that was a good idea? Don’t even get me started . There’s a building in the bay shaped like a big T -- which I’m pretty sure defies some kind of law of gravity -- and apparently there’s some superhero squadron or something complete with tacky spandex outfits living there. Either that or the local law enforcement’s really gotta check what they’re putting in those donuts. I mean, is this place really for real? Or did the bus just run off the road or something and this is all just a coma-induced hallucination?

God this is just my luck.